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 ◄ #5,
February 2006
February 25, 2006.
Oakland.
Early morning.
Start with the February 12 "concept"--The golden sun streaked with
blood and marked with shadow becomes four rivers of
light still flowing down the sacred mountain, plus three rivers of blood .
Two or three of the rivers of light start with black.
Early
evening.
The yellow half circle has become a mound with an empty space below
it. The empty space looks like a tomb and I laid a bar of
smooth impasto raw umber in it as the dark and silent earth of myself now.
Late night.
The raw umber bar has no meaning. I put a disk of cad red light at the
bottom of it as a base of energy and life (with all the complicated “cad
red light is the spiritual color” associations—here at the base of the
“dark and silent earth I am now.” Well, hope for the best.
February 26, 2006.
Oakland.
Afternoon.
The raw umber bar with cad red light disk has no meaning. Move the cad red
light disk to the top, carve an expanding spiral in it that trails up and
out toward the yellow mound. Looks wrong. Balance it with a white disk at
the bottom where the cad red light disk was at the beginning. Cut a
geometric sign in it… “See, it’s my whole life as the representation of Karl Jaspers Reason and Existenz. It looks totally wrong, all I can see in the dark silent
earth bar is a cad red light vagina sign carved into it.
Lay in a long and centered
area of cad red light, paint smooth impasto raw umber over it, then use a
nail to carve the vagina sign through the still soft and smooth raw umber
impasto
Evening.
This painting has become the image of the sound of Melisande dying, rising
ever higher—
like the
60 x 40 inch pastel I made in 1976 (?). But that painting was the illustration of an
idea while this painting is a gift.
Arkel..
Hush!... Hush!... we must speak softly now. – She must not be disturbed. …
The human soul is very silent… The human soul likes to depart alone… It
suffers so timorously. … But the sadness, Golaud … the sadness of all we
see! … Oh! oh! oh! …
—from Maurice Maeterlink: Pelleas and Melisande.
New York, 1913, p119
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