I have discovered that I always need
a project, and my dissatisfaction with my last six months of work is
that I have not had one. So, in mid April (the next painting after
#1 April below) I decided the "project" of my next and most
likely last years would be the "summing up" of my work from the
mid 1950's to now. I chose to begin with the mid 50's because it seemed to me
it was then I began the journey of which the fifty years since has
been the realization.
project. But execution of a project requires conceptualization of
materials and methods. It took weeks after I had already started the
work, but one early morning in late May (I had already made #2
April and #s 1-4 May) the aphorism came to me as
I was waking--
to look at
with all the half century of life since.
Thus, the late April and all of the May paintings were built
in my Lac Ouareau Studio from photos in my computer of paintings in a few folders in a
file drawer labeled "1950's" in my Oakland studio. The
holds fifty or more folders, each folder with anywhere from ten to
thirty or more 9x12 paintings/collages of the kind I made in those
days. (Click here to see a survey of this kind of work from those
I began with a folder labeled
Streets of San Francisco begin to turn into Cock-Book-1956-7?
(that folder became #2 April), beginning
there because it was then that my on-the-spot drawings of the decayed
old mansions of San Francisco began to become images of my sexuality
in transformation from an adolescent "show me and I'll fuck it" into a
mature man building a family, a home and a world.
I was very dissatisfied with
#2 April, but that dissatisfaction gave the drive and impulse
and breakthrough to #1 May and all of the work since.